Joker: Criminally Insane

Shirish Kunder’s Joker can serve as a fine example for anyone who wants to know what can happen if lots of money falls into wrong hands. To say that this film is so bad and so wrong on so many levels is to put it rather mildly. The assault on the senses grows its intensity with each passing moment and it’s a terrible time to be in the theatre for the 100 minutes of its duration.

To explain how ridiculous this film is, you just have to sample this: Aliens test humans for two years and after confirming that humans are indeed “Achche Log”, they respond to the communication. And to top that all of this is mouthed in pale dialogue. Shirish Kunder for all he knows might just be in the wrong profession and it is never too late to realize that. He makes for the classic case of a fish trying to climb a tree and failing forever.

If you find a 100 plot holes in the film that is only because you have given up after 100. There is no real writing to speak of; just a collage of illogical sequences put together with utter disregard for sense. Practically everyone of the cast try so hard that it is very obvious and ham their way through their scenes. Even Akshay Kumar, who is a dependable actor otherwise, appears clueless and uninterested. However Shreyas Talpade gets the most raw deal of them all. He has to blabber inane sounding gibberish in an incomprehensible language through out the film and at the end we are told it is the language of the aliens. The shit these guys can come up with.

The production design has some scope to impress but they chose to make it equally weird and bizarre in order to be in line with the rest of the film. And Bollywood’s obsession to translate English to Hindi or vice versa to make it funny is also being overdone but that can also be lack of inspiration or running out of ideas. Chitrangada’s item number is terrible and so are all the other songs. With no spirited performances or any intelligence in the plot, this is an ordeal to sit through and hopefully it gets reflected in the numbers that it generates, or else we might have to see more of such garbage or god forbid even a sequel.

There are bigger wonders than this film being made and released and you are better off exploring them unless you are very keen to see what happens if 40 Crores of Rupees chose to conspire with stupidity.

Srimannarayana : Been There Seen That

Regardless of the profession Balayya portrays in his films, he does only what he does best that is to kick butt and mouth rousing dialogues. So this season he is back again to kick some serious butt in the role of a journalist in Srimannarayana.

Srimannarayana is pretty much the standard issue Balayya movie with all the ingredients that went into his movies in his illustrious career. It has two heroines and a mandatory song with the two of them kissing him, a horde of villains who can never harm the man, an irrelevant comedy track and double entendre parading as comedy. However the good news is that the makers have gone easy on those pretentious sentiment scenes and the bad news is that there is nothing in the film that Balayya hasn’t done or we haven’t seen before.

The plot is a sorry excuse for a revenge drama where the hero gets to kill no less than 6 (Six. You heard it right) men donning 3 different getups along his way. The villains can do him no harm and the heroines are his for the taking and are ever ready and willing if he wants to shake a leg. With so much going for him, Balayya literally sleepwalks through his role that never demands to stretch his histrionics beyond what he has done in the assembly line roles so far. However the age is catching up quite visibly and he doesn’t cut a decent image most of the time but makes up for it with his surprising agility and a controlled performance.

Apart from Balakrishna no one gets a decent role and despite Parvati Melton being a journalist, she is no more than the bimbette we are used to see in these kind of films. The supporting cast goes through their motions and thankfully they are competent. Visually the film looks decent and a couple of songs are fun to watch but they are placed so poorly that they hamper whatever the pace the film seems to be building. The writing leaves a lot to be desired and the dialogues are there just for the reason that someone has to say something about what was going on.

In all, Srimannarayana is not at all a horrible film but just that it gives you a sense of déjà vu. Nostalgia is not such a good thing after all. You might enjoy it if you have the kind of talent it requires.

Shirin Farhad Ki To Nikal Padi: Yawn

Aged men and women in love do not maketh a matured love story and the Bhansalis learn it the hard way this weekend. Shirin Farhad Ki To Nikal Padi is a candy floss non-romance that disguises itself as a drama and resorts occasionally to slapstick for time fillers. With an utterly predictable plot the two hour long film feels two hours too long.

The only difference between any other candy floss romance and this one is the age of the leads. While Shirin has a filmy reason to stay unmarried for as long as she has, Farhad doesn’t even have one. Indeed it is difficult to believe the dude was unmarried so long when he wears his libido on his sleeve and flirts right away with Farah. He could have saved us this ordeal had he chosen to act 20 years ago. At the least it would have given us a proper romance. Apart from the two protagonists there are a horde of pointless cameos popping in occasionally. Shammi who played Farhad’s granny was the only decent one of the lot.

The story and screenplay credited to Sanjay Leela Bhansali is as clichéd as it can ever be with plot points and unnecessary complications written all over the script. With no endearing moments or spirited performances the whole film is a long drawn out yawn. Boman Irani plays a Parsi( Yes. Again) and is spot on with his dialect and the quirky mannerisms one associate with Parsis of Bollywood but all of this is getting a bit repetitive. Even with all his competence Boman could not save this one from going down hill while Farah’s debut is a colossal waste and the actress isn’t too great either.

Love does not have an expiry date is the theme of the film as is voiced by its protagonist and for all we care theirs can go on for eternity. With the horrible song and dance it will not be a great sight to look at anyway. This isn’t an ideal way to spend time even if you have two tubs of free Popcorn.

Sudigadu: The Great Telugu Cinema

Sudigaadu takes spoofing Telugu Cinema to a new high altogether making it a genre in itself and thankfully the jokes are not overdone. With ridiculousness as its USP right from the word go Sudigaadu sails through its sequences ticking every possible cliche that was ever made in Telugu Cinema. Not even once during its entire run time does it switch back to the regular stuff which in hindsight it is an achievement in itself  and barring a couple of minor squabbles it is entertaining all the way.

The plot is difficult to follow or make some sense of but it is a mere excuse to stuff in as many references as possible to the heroes and directors of Tollywood. Being a remake of a Tamil Cinema helps as the plot points are all in place and Bhimaneni brings in his experience in ensuring that the narrative never slackens in its pace. Allari Naresh leads the pack of competent cast who know their strengths and what they are supposed to do in this film. However he could not play everyone and he keeps himself restricted to what he does best and lets the sound track take care for the other heroes. Everyone seems to enjoy the experience of working in the film and it is a visibly vibrant product. 

The makers cannot be accused of subtlety in their allusions and it is really difficult to pick a favorite one out of the innumerable rip-roaring laughter sequences. For a film that celebrates the who's-who in Telugu Cinema, Sudigaadu offends neither the directors nor the actors and I'm sure the one whose film was spoofed at would be the one laughing the most coming out of the theaters. 

Towards the end of the film, however the makers could not stop loving the film and choose to prolong the end. The climax which should have ended up in the Aluminium factory, then runs an extra ten minutes which might take away the smiles off the audiences' faces. The film could have done better with a 15 minute lesser duration and a couple of songs hinder the pace. There are some loose ends which were never explained  and some characters like Brahmanandam look like they were added as an afterthought. But as we noted earlier these were the minor squabbles.

Sudigadu guarantees you and your buddies a gala time at the theaters but unfortunately you cannot try these actions at home. Remember you have grown up, whether you like it or not.

Ek Tha Tiger: GRAND

Ek Tha Tiger is Bollywood back to its roots. It is escapist, unpretentious grand Yash Raj romance with all the standard ingredients in place only served by a different director playing across different locales. And what locales they are. Breathtaking.

We have the standard issue macho hero, gun wielding, gravity defying butt kicking alpha male, a ravishingly beautiful heroine who can kick her share of butt, a caring friend who has sweet lines to say most of the time even when chiding our hero, a boss who drinks whisky and sends the hero on mission to meet the lady and here is the most important one. No Mothers or Sisters. Thank God for small joys of life.

We all know when Salman Khan takes his shirt off its show down time only this time its subtle because of the director at the helm. Kabir Khan had made two decent films but this is one of the very few acts of some value he brought into this film. His eye for locales is intact and is as brilliant as it always has been. The thumping background score and the chartbuster soundtrack help too. Salman and Katrina’s romance was warm and delightful and short and the long drawn out action sequences are neatly done despite some tacky CG.

If we play out an an imaginary conversation between the makers (TM) and a common man on the road about this film it might go like this.

TM: Hey CM. What do you think a film should mainly have.

CM: A story

TM: (suppressing his laughter) Are you sure you want a story?

CM: Yes. Without a story a film will never work

TM: Do you want to see Salman Khan dancing to the best music available out there right now.

CM: You betcha.

TM: You like Katrina Kaif?

CM: Damn. I’ll give my left ear for a date. But I guess I have to watch her on screen.

TM: Ok. We have them both dancing together in our film.

CM: Sounds like a damn good one now.

TM: You like action sequences. Fights and all.

CM: I love’em

TM: We have a lot of them. You want to see breathtaking visuals of Iraq, Cuba, Delhi, Italy and London all in one film?

CM: No kidding?

TM: Absolutely not.

CM: Yes sir.

TM: Ok. Lets go to our movie. It is called Ek Tha Tiger and it has all the above in it.

CM: Holy Shit. This seems like a festival now. Well and truly.

TM: Do you still want that damn story?

CM: Hell. No

Devudu Chesina Manushulu : God of Trivial Things

Devudu Chesina Manushulu is basically Butterfly Effect for Dummies. What started off as an interesting idea ended up overstaying its welcome thanks to the 120 odd-minute duration it never deserved in the first place. Once we knew what it’s all about its good to wrap it up soon but the director instead choses to do the film all over again with more meaningless songs and fights. The leads’ performances especially by the gorgeous Illeana save the day to some extent in the end.

Puri indulges himself by throwing all logic into the dustbin and then burying it in some irretrievable location as an additional safe measure. Once you get this thing right into your head just like how he did (however difficult it might seem for a sane man to do) you might find this film enjoyable. For every ounce of absurdity oozing from the film it is obvious how the director was thrilled with his ridiculous idea. May be he had the resources and money but to go ahead and make this film the way it turned out is indeed an achievement. No pun intended.

“Devudunnadu ani manaspoorthiga nammi ee cinema chudandi. Appudu meeku elanti anumanalu ravu” says Puri in a voiceover introducing the idea of this unprecedented film. May be he meant us to believe in the God he has created who is as important to the lives of the protagonists as the banana scrap that turned the events in the tale. If there is a point or a greater philosophy in this for all of us to learn is something lost in the ensued chaos.

It is difficult to categorize the film under any genres without offending the purists. That it was not even made with much conviction does not help and may be that was the whole point of it. It celebrates its ridiculousness like a child who is thrilled by his parents’ discomfiture at the frequent wetting of his pants.

You wont be any wiser or richer at the end of the day and you have bought into two and half hour emptiness. Somehow the price does not seem too high after all.

Gangs of Wasseypur II: A Bit Underwhelming

The major undoing for GoW II is that it is separated from GoW I or may be it was never a great idea to make this into two parts in the first place. The second installment of this bloody saga often evokes a sense of “been there seen that” in the first edition. With no real pace in the story, even the swearing seems to have lost the shock value it once used to have and the dialogue seems to resort to Bollywood references when nothing else works, which in hindsight are the only breathers in this saga of revenge.

Nawaz’s Faizal Khan is a brilliantly played role but still is a bit less captivating when compared to Bajpayee’s Sardar Khan. It is amazing to see the actor embrace the role with all its idiosyncrasies but Faizal Khan comes across as rather a weak character who at one point rues his father’s decision to return to Wasseypur. The antagonist Ramadheer also is weakened with age but still manages to get people killed at will in the narrative. There is endless flow of blood with gunshots fired at an alarming regularity. Kashyap’s direction if indulgent in the first turns cold in the second and gives a matter of fact account of the events that unfold on screen.  Also there are at least a couple of subplots that can be trimmed which had also been an issue with GoW 1.

The bloody climax is a fitting end to the film and Keh Ke Loonga track returns to make it the best moment in the film but it comes an hour too late. The first half of this particular film does not have enough interesting moments though it shows the rise of Faizal from a pothead to one in charge of the family. In contrast GoW I has certain edginess and a morbid charm, which are quite amiss in the second.

What save the film from becoming a snooze fest are the terrific performances put in by the cast and a brilliant soundtrack. Tigmanshu Dhulia continues to delight in his role and could have given more screen time while Nawaz literally lives the character. Huma Qureshi as the feisty wife in gaudy attires, Pankaj Tripathi with a terrific screen presence as Sultan and Richa Chadha as the woman who ignitesa revenge and keeps it alive in the family excel in their roles. The new comers put in decent performances but their relative unfamiliarity to the screen can evoke indifference. Even the cinematography, sound track and Background music are not quite up to the standards set by GoW I. Production design as we noted earlier was inconsistent with again only Bollywood references to establish various periods.

In all Gangs of Wasseypur is not quite the epic Anurag Kashyap envisioned it to be. It had its moments of pure brilliance and we will pick up more of them with repeated viewings, but this one certainly is not the best work by the auteur. It is a bit underwhelming for a film that generated such a buzz at Cannes. 

Jism 2: Pathetic

Jism-2 is such a lousy film that it can put you off Bhatt camp films for a long while to come that is assuming their earlier films didn’t put you off. The story written by Mahesh Bhatt looks like one of his discards and seems to be rehashed with scant regard for credibility. In fact there are so many things left unexplained in the movie that clearly indicates the makers haven’t thought through it at all.

The Bhatt’s might well have been under a misconception that deliberately slow dialogue and pacing makes for a brooding film but for a film featuring Sunny Leone this one is two hours too long. With only a handful (5) of characters you would need a taut screenplay but Mahesh Bhatt’s screenplay is a farce. With no real purpose for any of the characters this one appears a snooze fest right from the word go.

The writing oscillates between horrible and unintentionally funny with lines like  “Agar Tum Saath Na Ho wo Swarg hi Kya hai aur Tum ho to Narak bhi acha hai” or such shit. The number of times the word “Data” was uttered in the film was so ridiculous that it started eliciting guffaws particularly towards the end of the film. No one has really any idea what the film needs or what his or her job in the film was. Cinematography was not at all in sync with the movie’s premise and the production design credited to Ms Bhatt again, though resplendent with colors appears a bit girly and unbelievable especially when the house is supposed to be that of an assassin.

Randeep Hooda who seems to be doing some good work these days looks embarrassed and amused at the lines given to him but nevertheless hams his way through those insipid situations. Sunny Leone cant act and Arunoday Singh competes with her for bad acting honors and by the end of the film there were no clear winners out of the two. If ever you need to know the difference between emoting and facial contortion you just have to watch this film.The guy who played Arunoday’s boss was a pain in all the wrong places and gets his share of horrible lines.

The only saving grace of this film is its music, though like all the Bhatt camp films it is wasted on the pretentiousness of its protagonists. Even for someone looking for titillation, it is a huge let down considering the absolute lack of chemistry in its love making scenes, which in hindsight are few and far between insipid lines and bland sequences.  

Sunny Leone has given some great performances earlier and will definitely give some more in the future, meanwhile you can skip this and wait for them